Industry Trends

We Paid for 469 Keywords: A Procurement Manager's Story About Duck Cupcakes and Hidden Costs

Last January, I opened a spreadsheet and almost deleted it

I'm the procurement manager at a 60-person packaging company. I've managed our shipping-material and print budget for six years—roughly $120,000 a year—negotiated with 40+ vendors, and documented every order in our cost-tracking system. So when our ad agency asked for a 12% budget increase, I didn't just sign off. I asked to see what the money was doing.

The agency sent over a spreadsheet of search terms. All 469 of them. The email said, Here's what we're targeting. The account is healthy.

I wish I'd looked at it three months earlier.

The 6 search terms that stopped me cold

The first few rows were fine: packing tape, duck brand packing tape, shipping tape waterproof. Then I scrolled. And found the cupcakes.

• duck cupcakes
• duck coloring pages printable
• the duck and the peach reviews
• check envelope
• nuclear envelope in plant cell
• how to remove super glue from quartz countertop

I'm not an SEO specialist, so I can't speak to how Google decides which of those triggers an ad. What I can tell you from a procurement perspective is what those clicks cost.

Look, some of these made sense in a weird way. Duck cupcakes gets searched around spring and Easter. Duck coloring pages printable is a staple for teachers and parents. The Duck and the Peach reviews is a restaurant in Washington, D.C. All real search terms. Zero of them were going to buy a case of packing tape.

The envelope terms were sneakier. Check envelope could be a product search—plenty of our customers put checks in envelopes. But it could also be someone asking if they can mail a check without an envelope. And nuclear envelope in plant cell is a biology term. I checked. Those searchers are not thinking about our flat mailers.

Then there was how to remove super glue from quartz countertop. That one is adjacent to adhesives. But we sell tape, not acetone. That searcher needs a stain-removal tutorial, not a case of shipping supplies.

No, the agency wasn't being lazy

Here's the thing: the agency didn't intentionally target those terms. Broad match did it for them. And because the monthly dashboard showed spend down 2%, everyone assumed things were fine.

I knew I should have requested this report at the start of the quarter. I thought, We've worked with this agency for three years—they know our product line. What are the odds they're wasting money? Well, the odds caught up with me. (Note to self: trust, but verify.)

I also assumed relevant meant any keyword containing the word duck. Didn't verify. Turned out duck can mean a bird, a restaurant, a cupcake topper, and a brand. Only one of those meanings buys packaging tape.

What the data actually showed

I cross-referenced the keyword list with our order data. Over Q4 2024, those irrelevant groups produced 2,847 clicks at an average cost of $0.31 per click. Total spend: $882.57. Conversions from those groups: zero. That's 22% of the monthly ad budget going to restaurant reviews and cell-biology homework.

Then I compared the irrelevant terms to the core terms. Duck brand packing tape converted at 1.8%. Packing tape converted at 1.4%. The irrelevant duck terms converted at 0.0%. It wasn't just wasted money—it was worse than wasted, because those broad clicks made our average cost per acquisition look higher and pushed the account's quality score down.

I built a simple cost sheet for each keyword group:

• Total clicks in Q4
• Cost per click
• Conversion rate
• Revenue generated
• Hidden cost: what that money could have bought if it had been spent on high-intent terms

That's the same way I evaluate a supplier. Base price, setup fees, shipping, rush fees, potential rework. The lowest quoted price isn't always the lowest total cost.

The fix (and the print lesson)

We switched the account from broad match to phrase match for core terms. We added a negative keyword list that included cupcake, coloring, review, plant cell, quartz countertop, and about 60 other terms I'm embarrassed to list. And I put a monthly search-term review into the agency contract—raw report, unfiltered, sent to me before any invoice gets approved. Our procurement policy now requires a monthly spot-check of any external spend above $500. It wasn't the most popular meeting I've ever had, but it meant the next quarter's budget actually went to terms that made money.

The same lens changed how I buy printed materials. We use an online printer for branded mailers and instruction inserts. Online printers like 48 Hour Print work well for standard products—business cards, brochures, flyers—in quantities from 25 to 25,000+, with standard 3-7 day turnaround. That works when we plan. But when a client requested a custom insert with a two-day deadline, I didn't pick the cheapest option with estimated delivery. I paid for guaranteed turnaround, because for an event, certainty is worth more than the price difference. Total cost of ownership includes base price, setup fees, shipping, rush fees, and potential reprint costs. The lowest quoted price often isn't the lowest total cost.

This is why I'm a fan of transparent pricing, in ads and in printing. The agency that lists its management fee and media spend separately is easier to audit than the one that says we take care of everything. The print shop that shows you a shipping quote and a proofing fee before you order is more trustworthy than the one that adds them after. Same with keywords: a high-intent term that costs $0.50 is cheaper than a broad term that costs $0.10 and brings zero orders.

What I'd tell any buyer

If you're a buyer or a small business owner, don't assume the people spending your money are watching every dollar. They might be looking at dashboards, not data. I'm not saying every agency is wasteful—I'm saying that without access to raw reports, you're the one taking the risk. As of January 2025, our agency sends the report every month, and I read it. Every line.

Start with one question: Show me the search terms. If they hesitate, that's a sign. If they show you a list of 469 queries, read it. It might be boring. It might be embarrassing. It might contain the phrase nuclear envelope in plant cell. But it will tell you exactly where your money is going.

Then, and only then, ask for a lower budget. Or better yet, spend the same budget on fewer, better-intentioned clicks. You'll cut costs and improve performance—which, for a procurement person, is the closest thing to a perfect order I've ever found.